here
so the f***
is going to Canada. Yeah, Camden is for the rest of the country
a s*******. I was imagine Camden like
like Detroit like robocops Detroit. Yeah.
Yeah, you know, I always think of it.
You go over that bridge down there and you're on your own.
It's got to be like I Am Legend when you go home at night poor bleach
on the stairs lock your doors, man.
There are plenty of places like this around the country.
I'm telling you man. You take a drive. You'll see this s***.
Well, there you go the death of a city. Yeah, it's a
perfect example.
I bet you they were a happening little city. Yeah,
and then whatever industry it was went away.
And that was it. That's what happens in America
happens.
This is old abandoned Campbell's food
factory.
So I want to see.
in the scene
How you doing? Are you pretty good?
I'm trying to find.
this girl
have you seen her?
She looks familiar. Seriously. How long has she been listening?
about four days
right
You know like what area?
Oh, she goes out here and pull out camp. Yeah.
Seriously, yeah.
Hola.
you are
one answer a f****** fine
as my one of my points was supposed to what's the
purpose of having a f****** phone?
She don't answer.
why wouldn't
You be my
neighbor.
here you
All these b****** on Federal Street try to
f****** f*** my man.
And try to give them false information because my
man goes around paying these little f****** whores for
information. You see I've been
with him for seven years now.
And all we fight about is me doing.
Drugs, like if I weren't getting high, I'd probably
be like living it up right now.
He has a very good job so printer he
makes $40 an hour.
you know and
when he got with me, he was like doing so good
living the life and I kind of came in and
f****** all up
So this is my daily routine into the hood.
My call is The Melody of the Beast.
I haven't seen her in.
Four days, she gets her mind made
up and she wants to get high. That's what she does.
And she finds a way.
Stay after.
not
it's a good pregnancy test and they
came up negative and
I didn't think I was pregnant because of the test and
miss them again gone and then I got scared.
I thought something was wrong with my lover. And
the test was just on a
date and then yeah, it's just laying in bed and I felt like
moving and s***.
I'm like, oh s***. I'm f****** pregnant.
And I was already too too late
to have an abortion. So
the longer she's out here more damage. She does to the baby. So I'm always
desperate.
It's a desperate thing.
This is a hiding spot.
here f****** crack
We'll have our methadone maybe right
here f****** dinner. We're pushing something. That's
the plunger.
here
being this m*********** getting out. That's what
okay.
So sit on his nasty f****** beds.
My father died wouldn't eat on his arm.
And my mom used to shoot powder.
Those in my jeans. I want to get high.
And you know, I think about my last pregnancy How I Got
High through my whole pregnancy and nothing was wrong with my son. He had
no withdraw he had nothing. My man tells me all the time. It's not
the same. That doesn't mean that that's gonna happen this time because now you're older
you've been doing drugs longer, you know
what I mean? And every situation is not the same and I
already know if I win all the time, but he's
100% right and I love them to death and
I just I just wish sometimes you could understand where I
come from but
Yo, what the f*** is up with Nick? Is she okay. I'm making
sure.
Hello, Harmony Ranger go by y'all mixer.
Well, he was just
amazed
birds of a feather flock together
they're all in the same boat. So sometimes they will
hide her.
You know to get high buddies no one likes to smoke
crack by themselves. No one likes to do Duke by themselves.
They're trying to bring a game then back Central City. They're putting
a lot of money into it. But if you don't change this epidemic.
Of addiction and dope. It's not gonna change. I'm gonna
break in they're gonna steal the pipes are gonna they're gonna tear down.
People have to change.
Mentality has to change.
This time in the morning normally people are giving out
samples of dope and ready night
of The Walking Dead. Everyone's gonna
be congregating around talking about who has what do
I just I wouldn't encrypt.
I didn't get a chance together. It just got delivered the
other day, but it's actually gonna
be it's a two and one turns into a bed for
Later, so I just got that form. These are pictures of the good
times.
before the drugs took over
We're just out having fun.
We haven't done that in years now.
I mean, there's not any f****** drug then
on it wouldn't do you know, and I just don't I don't get it
how she could do that. When a baby novelt. She has
no thought of it.
This morning here by yourself,
but he'll buy her like you even get her
match. He'll get her bottle messenger known she was on. Yep. She
was on the methadone it but she wants more so like it's
never enough money.
Well, I mean it is what it is though. Like what
are we gonna do? Oh s***.
Hey, Tommy.
No, you were supposed to have been met him. He's
probably gonna cook something up. He was supposed to be coming out
with it four o'clock. All right.
I remember my first
bit of school clothes money my uncle my dad gave
me I wasn't bought a Quarter House crew that guy
gave me out.
Now we can't use every week every Monday and Sunday.
I think he was in at 24,000 key
you do that.
Dude, I work too.
I mean like 84 Grand a year working.
Great Valley engineer 15 years
So, I mean I'm pretty good.
Caught my habit for more putting it together from there
on f***. I got a dealership.
Yeah, worse doing about five minutes a day at one time.
Wean anything like it before we use a Niggy remember
back in the day?
I want was real and it worked but I f*****
up be worrying about Nick my stupid ass
thinking I can see somebody. I don't want to be saved.
Bye you get stuck being
an addict a little bit.
and this is
I know what you say.
I'm better to selling drugs to me Harry
almost gotten so a fight and then come to find out she liked me
to hold on. You gotta hit me personally.
I'm seriously got hit me first. I'm dead. Serious. What the
f***? I did say.
What are you where's the gardener?
Right here.
To there you go.
She came here and she got stuck here.
my stupid
Hello, no one is available to take your call. Please
leave a message after the tone. Can you
call me now, please?
Before we leave Camden.
I want to make sure she's not somewhere in Camden. I'm gonna
take my time. I know they're riding around with some
pretty guy.
And did you see
the guy that was there? That might have been high?
It's 1:30 in the morning and they're sitting there. They were
sitting there smoking crack in front of the set and the cops
are right there and it's a known set. What is that?
Maybe you thirsty. No, you don't like this one. Yeah.
Yeah, that's definitely what was
delicious.
It's good for you.
I'm about to go actually and wake
up in the morning and it's better to lay down
today it is.
I mean, what's more comfortable there was together and
I love but right now.
It's the best thing in the world.
The best thing in the world for me to get rest and get to my point where
you rest better. I rest best in a bag
it who's big and when who's feet you wrap your feet around and who's
on your right? What makes me feel better? How come you
don't say that s*** when you're calling me as well or in the process of if
I don't see that then do when I say that I say
that when I'm very angry and I'm very fed up with people. Well, you're angry every
day. Well baby when you just took that blast that
makes me very angry. I'm trying to be very I know you're angry and I
love you stomach is
and with my little baby doing right now. That's what I
think about. Listen. I don't give a f***. Okay, I'm pregnant and I'm
gonna f****** set I gotta go. Okay. I love
you. I will call you in the morning.
She got her hair on a pressed out and see I knew she was
around. Oh, yeah, you know you
have more fun with you. I'm going always there
but chasing 90. Yeah.
You chasing her around?
I'm not chasing right all I'm not actually having conversation one. So
she just can't go over there from what's mean. They anything
your police, you know, God damn police.
You don't.
He must around.
Man that girl that what oh, what's
the matter? There's no one's trying to save you everyone gave up on you and people
like E minor. Nicki would be the oneself at 97 so they
can rob her when she knocks out baby. Did you
get your vitamins back yet?
That the doctor said your blood count is supposed to be 14
and it's seven and he told her if you
were to go into labor.
Do we need a massive blood transfusion and you
may not survive?
How many doctors appointments did they make thank you. Seven months.
I went to the doctors. No Mama. No, don't wait
your way is not it's not it's not the right way things think
about my way. Listen to me and in seven months of
pregnancy. You went to a premium visit twice.
So obviously you can't do it on your own,
you know, you put the little puppy little kitten and take
some arsenic or some iodine and drop it in her milk, which
is poison.
You think that dupes is to my baby. What do
you think that cracks doing to my baby? Oh, I don't
want to hear down. I want to think about then. That's the problem because the
people you survive yourself with I'm thinking about
and then you have to think about how strong was on
his body because she's never had a reprieve from doing all
these hard drugs.
So
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I'm equipped.
Who loves you baby?
Who love will you crying for?
then it's a
When you crying for baby?
I love you.
What are you crying for, baby?
You told me never give up on you, right?
And that what you told me.
Then tell me why you're crying.
I don't think there's gonna be happy ending.
and
at one point
I still have to determine whether or not I'm gonna be equipped to deal
with a baby with so many problems.
Hey, baby.
Who is a good?
You like it?
You see that baby. I I got a phone call at 10
clock that night and he told me she went in the labor of at
our sister's house who also's smokes crack and they
got an ambulance went to the hospital.
That's good for my baby when I got there
didn't allow me to see my son born because 90 decided
to bring power fernelia.
With her to the hospital when she was delivered to
Arnez something bring them wouldn't
chair so we don't sit around and chill out.
Basically, I got no information. They wouldn't tell
me how it was. I was worried about whether or not
he's gonna withdraw who was the symptoms what's going on
it was
a horrible f****** experience
Basically, they told me I was Guilty By Association which is a
bunch of s***, but life is to custody of them.
I mean I got through it. I went back and forth to court went
and talked to the psychiatrist.
They had these Services here soon to
come here five days a week, but once I got custody of them I
felt a lot better.
I felt as though I I won. Where is
my baby? Is this leaving? Hello?
and the baby
and I have got Daddy.
Right. There's that
little baby.
Once I got custody of Darkness for her to be
able to see him. She had to be in therapy in
a drug rehabilitation program, and she was not
if she wants help.
Would I be willing to help her if she came to me and said help me put me
into a program. I'm gonna do this. Yes, I would help
her but her actions speak. Well out of her words.
So my focus is you know, I got
my baby.
And I'm happy and I always have my
babies see my sons of my children.
Are the reason why I'm still standing here right now. The reason
all the man I am today because I've always told them to stick
close stick together and that's that's
what we are the Gant family as our family that sticks together
Garden. Is it a daddy's boy?
He likes sweet potatoes in them like him toys.
A boom boom boom a boom. Boom
Darkness is a daddy boy. He likes
sweet potatoes and I'm like him toys.
Are you daddy's baby?
What?
What this is new thing. This is
new thing. We doing that for.
What so?
right
Baby right here these guys
this guy I I you got
a little button news here. People
are
like they already know my sister Monday like well,
he got to get something together.
Can't eat this. It's plastic.
Dragon visit him like every couple of the days or if I
don't hear from for like two months. I will look for
so disappear
It doesn't 2012.
After while he just fell off. Well, I want you to talk to
you. Give me challenge. I want a job to get one job you got
away.
Until Friday, all right.
I got a green book home about the problem Muhammad
rasool law Switzerland. It tells you about Society social
order and it tells you
this right here. That's not a part of our society. You started
going a little crazy after 90 seconds with
yeah. I remember all the stuff. Yeah, maybe all y'all
said I was crazy. But the whole thing is it took me
seven years to get over at mine's death. No, I
should have about 9.
Go get your help and good come to a part
of society that you can be a productive part
of slide. This is what the deal is. Just what
Understand and I'm trying to tell you all this
year your story could help the next person. He's in whole
but it's not because what you're doing you got too much negativity just
before on the streets of Camden now all this negative
stuff.
Not only this dog isn't my
third generation right here actually, look this
first second and third generation from Raymond
f****** increase. I was I was
a drug addict for from the age of 14
all the way up until my 40s
and you know, the bad thing about it. I
sold drugs and Camden New York all over
and the turn around. I'm breeded another
f****** generation of a****** tonight. Yes,
really f***** up. You don't
give up because he's gonna turn this life.
All right.
This is just our habit. I don't want to give up on her. I
was gonna say.
Sucks sucks to love. Somebody don't love themselves.
It's hard for me to focus.
On what I have to do, so I have to completely turn cold
towards 90 to be able to function when he gets
me what I need then I don't need to do anything. I stay
home and I'm with the baby and that's I can
do black and countless men's cars you to dates with and
expect me to not give a f*** about it.
What time is the appointment what time 145 but
he has to be bathed in dressed. We got to go.
Able to build it. Yes. Okay, baby.
Because you gotta remember something like this came there and Davis
checked up. Remember they checked
up on the fact that he got in the shots. So I
mean I'm signing. They don't know who you are. I gonna say it's friend
of mine. He's my girlfriend knows not his mom. Well, he looks
just like her. Oh well,
He's good.
Hey what I'm not kissing his
hands gonna put him in his mouth.
She doesn't brush your teeth. She doesn't wash her mouth. She's losing the street.
So I mean hygiene factor in germs it's not
she shares someone stand. It's all that all them germs. It's
alive and things transfer a lot.
Doesn't look like that but I do.
Again, but you want me.
To be I'm saying there. So what I'm saying
is is that if you don't care about that,
then that's scary because that's real.
Yeah, perfect for Darkness here. So 145 but
here, right
here
come on
that
Sticks himself.
Well, don't kiss the baby don't you're
smoking on stands. He doesn't
have to be such an a******. He was never like that before
like so mean, it was me at first
knowing I can't be around baby takes me to the
doctor damn well.
Okay.
Do s*** like this?
I told him blending times fine. Somebody better than
me. I'm not good for you. I'm poison for you, but
he doesn't listen.
He loves me so much. He felt that if I had a
baby I would calm down.
Didn't go good at all because I get
that and now I can't even you know.
Being the mom. I really want to be for him.
I'm sick of this lifestyle.
I'm sick of it, but I'm just not ready. It sounds
retarded for me to say I'm sick of this life, but then I keep
doing it like
but I want to be my baby's life. So.
I did a whole bag of fat on OD.
my friends that I turned blue and
she said right after she hit me I was
like, well, this is good and just passed out.
funny about to get a shots
Right now alright.
We're all done. But I
I just don't want to go to hell.
Friday the methadone bus comes right?
Yeah, they sell the bottles early
in the morning. So maybe we can grab a couple
maybe we can grab at least like two or three.
And then that way I could just go home with you and the
baby drink a bottle.
And drink half a bottle out infection. Yeah,
right. Yeah.
And we'll try our best not to argue. And if I have
a little crack attack or something, maybe we can smoke some
weed. You can smoke some weedy call today.
You do a detox. I'm gonna buy you something make you
detox your body. We need that out your system.
I can't just a baby chicken.
You stop drinking liquor.
Oh sweet home.
I can work something out. I have five dollars. Like I can't do nothing
with nothing at all.
Well, you have to understand something.
Oh you baby. We got you a full thing again. We
you cigarettes. We got you something
to eat. You got you can't give me five hours and get back a dope
babe. Wait, wait wait.
So I'm supposed to walk around with no money amount. No keep five
for you. You need your beers again and give me back.
What's one bag of Luke won't do for you. I don't know
baby, but it'll help me from preventing the accent people, babe.
You giving me the hotel and you
just say keep up just keep on five baby one n****.
Don't be gonna last me till tomorrow. So what are you getting from here? I
don't go make myself bottle and then I'm gonna go see
what I can get for five dollars.
I buy her drugs to keep her from working at the
streets and I say working.
She can call it hustling, you know, but basically any
Chick out here who's the drug addict it's tricking for her
drugs. There's no other way.
darkness when you stop
It's tired. Nobody's gonna
be quiet with him is about.
That's what his mother knew that she didn't know that much.
Nothing is
not thinking about my baby.
I won't cry here. She said
she's gonna try to do but she really lied. She wanted
that five. So her buddy would give her money. So she
don't she don't care. She don't care about some dope.
He said me too.
So being around her baby don't mean anything all she cares about
is right. This is what I'm talking about. I thought that she would actually kick
in with the baby. I thought she
I thought she would actually.
Especially we do something different.
He wants me to go home buys me
a carton cigarettes with his credit card. I'll go somewhere six
hours get all the dope money and go home.
At least you got your crack.
See you later Deuces say goodbye to the Sun.
What's the matter with you?
Hello, five dollars,
like come on now how much money giving me?
You share with them n***** and they know your money you work the
streets with you share with everybody else and you f****** and sucking
n*****.
And all you do is take from him from your baby. So you suck
that glass dick. Go suck some real dick for more money get the
f*** away with me Nani bus little one dirty b****
f*** away.
Why don't talk to me like you're a dirty, b****.
Get the f*** away from me.
You nasty m*********** you dirty b****.
You stink.
You smell.
f****** a******
f*** you.
You leave your baby in the course you go sell your
ass and smoke crack you dirty b****.
I hate you.
Sometimes I
feel amazed. I ain't looking nothing. They
ain't know ain't no such thing as look but sometimes I'll wake
up like damn and he's like if you went to have to s***
out indeed like damn right here while doing it.
Shank
I don't want to kill him man. Nicki know the lady
was going with him. His son is doing time right
now, but I know who killed him.
I know himself, but he got his tombstone.
My brother got murdered.
Like I was like why the f*** it ain't happened to me. Like he
didn't deserve it. He was fresh off the porch how big
that should happen to me.
I like you ever wish death. I wish for death when that
happened my brother now I swear for God. I wanted to be me and he
can come back because I never see my father like that cry.
I never see my mother. You f***** everybody's
life up include them on.
And couldn't imagine me 14 years to cry.
Never got this one.
Giant wake up.
Some just touch that f****** here.
Went down here.
It's f***** up.
That's why I just want to get the f*** out of here. So I think I
even think about it. But now it's everywhere. I lived in
Oklahoma s*** was there.
I lived in Boca Raton Florida s*** was there
I lived in f****** Texas to ship.
Was there everywhere. I've been the s*** was there.
From rural to City. This is
always around.
You go. If it's not there you can make a phone call in the king be there.
Everybody deal with is doing something negative that
pulls me back into this s***, man.
And right now I need to study your time away from this s***.
the long vacation
it doesn't even know that we're sitting here talking, you know,
whatever. He thinks that I'm out like, you know sucking
dick and s***.
And what the f*** I got nothing. No drugs
already, you know Craig no, nothing. They even paid
off f****** day. And what the
f*** do I got s***?
I need some fun crafts.
Iman and Daryl, what are we gonna do with them?
What are they gonna do with us? What can we
do? I don't know. I'm confused.
Like my man is right.
Judges this s*** over being with my
beautiful bouncing baby boy really? Like
what's wrong with me? I need my head examined is
what time right now nice sitting everyone on me. I'm getting
ready to go hit the street. It ain't
You know, this ain't normal for f****** sure 24/7
Jason I did
this to myself. I thought myself over. I know that it's just
how now can I
you know get better in.
Keep stay better and you know, I mean because I
when I have my kids, I have beautiful beautiful kids and
they're perfect.
It's just
it's just hard.
Like when it comes down to it, it's either have someone
that you can trust and rely on somebody who's
really there for you.
And really cares there's a lot of people all the time that says, you know,
you ain't got no friends in this life. And when
it comes down to what the f*** is the problem. I'm
looking for the other one that's like that.
Oh, I find that I see that.
But it really is good to have.
You mean a real like a real friend, so we really can depend
on no matter what and it's just hard when you're by
yourself, you know.
It's really hard when you're by yourself. It really
is.
Wyoming goal of everything is try to
get into the re-end. Hopefully, both of us can go
into the rehab and I have it successful and
come out and live a different life.
I am as a man before guy here. I rather be
home with my baby and and my man right now f*** everything
else.
They see I put five grams of sitting
on 10 grams to do it make to do five times
stronger. So what is so faster? So when you
just go do straight here, it doesn't work for
you doesn't get you over here. You still be s***. You won't
throw a withdrawal.
The national series my favorite thing
about calling me the 1-800 NJ reach and
get a bed number beginning.
Oh, this is not 1-800 NJ reach.
I thank you.
and
it's been forwarded to an automatic voice
message.
A thank you for calling we
would like your opinion in a quick three question survey.
Got us them inside español Marquez Los numeros Nueva
nuevas.
Welcome to America's hottest talk line.
thank you for calling
reach Jay.
this is coming to
help you. Yes, I'm trying to look for a rehab.
for my dish of heroin
I just
got indeed for tomorrow. Y'all need to call you can get in it.
Yeah, they're getting high f****** sick.
So when you want to call Nick.
Yeah, I told Burger reason I didn't fit. No, there's any
any dude.
and he asked you for
see the burger Regional go out methadone.
Daddy got they told me.
so I
can put
what's up with you?
Oh, no, cuz you know how they got into a a
rehab tomorrow.
I gotta go be here.
Yeah, well decided to do here
right now. Did you ain't going to decide to walk out there? No,
I'm standing there pop. I'm glad you doing
that. Well saying you I ain't helping you
to get out of here. And then you're gonna have to pull to me
that you won't do the right thing. No things just right
here you support
that's all I need to support it.
Dad and Grandma and Grandpa
and Great Grandpa. He doing
that wrong. I hope that's why you're
doing there's only reason.
not and you know
It's only gonna start over again.
It's wasted effort. All right.
Yeah.
every myself
Yeah, you're right. You already know that.
All right.
What's up?
I really don't want to come back here.
Honestly, I really don't.
Only need a mistake this time.
Everybody years old.
Or when someone really asked me, I'll say I'm 38.
Take 10 years old Here Comes this baby.
What's your sister? That was bad? Everybody? You're
being nice boy. He's right.
I'm gonna put yourself get out
of here. Oh, very nice Mrs. Mom
is obvious we can tell
what?
You will be.
You messed up.
but you know what it
Can't over again. There's no more.
She right now the zombie of pus filled
little f****** wild b*******.
And garbage, so who needs it? I don't
need it.
But I've been nine some years put her ass,
but let her go. I'll never know.
you
came out he's done.
He's you know, get him out of here now.
Ladyboy. Oh, yeah.
It's the learning more
my son.
I really doing that. My dad abandoned me.
And my children my father has never met 9
was grandchildren. My mother raised me
to be the man I am today.
Everyone listen
to my mother. I'd be
a lawyer and never mind listen to my mama.
certain things
but have her I've been a nobody. I'm not
nobody the four five.
Years now.
My kids all come back to me.
I'm good. Daddy. Daddy. Number one
Bob both said, please and then I
got numb they're not that I never really had a gun.
It was a Terminator egg.
Then it never really had a gun that
was determinated accident. I'm not sure how to go now.
Oh never every son
man. I'm drinking the yard come
down. Good luck
with that. If you don't know. Oh, well
your brother.
MRG
happy birthday to me.
whoa
surprise surprise, n****
Anything I was coming like that now did you?
my bottle
No, drink, why wasn't touch my body.
Right there the Seagram's.
You might well no surround.
You getting fancied on?
Yeah.
Now I'm getting angry.
Yeah, where's my f****** bouncing my
f****** table? It's just you touched
it. I hit it for you. It's because my dick don't
touch it.
Forgot it. Oh my bottle.
my birthday
a little before I want to do.
She ain't buying them for me. Was that birthday,
but I don't see a card.
Everybody's off me no one.
Hear that you got someone who has
a monkey.
Music what do you want to listen to whatso?
Now this is my best.
friend
That I love this.
And dancing boy. I have
the best thing smile eyes
for it
everything.
See the torture the soul. I try my best
to pour out of it before love.
Love their work.
I gave up.
This country is destroyed like a
slow death horse meat to retire and unfortunately for your
politics, I only feel inspired to set this s*** on fire
when the bodies of black children were lying dead on
your streets like rotting fruit dangling from Southern trees.
Raw footage of a Lynch mouth dressed like police
and the crisis that I'm f****** talking about is at your
feet.
Man, we out here getting our modern day slave on. If
you ain't got your papers your ass better. Stay homework is finally
hunting n***** down all day long. So don't talk to me about the microsy
or categorically digress my stress metaphorically instead
of writing speeches about the way it's going to be I
dare you to prove me wrong historically.
But whenever I look around I feel entitled to burn
it down because all I see is the blood of my ancestors.
But in case you're reading this just know that I exist in
the shadows of your political masquerade sincerely Evolution
made in Camden murder capital
USA.
Talking going to party withdrawn.
You know, I don't get no mates when you know the hours.
This is it.
spot
you
very much.
it
it's beautiful butt. Yes,
welcome here.
Right above fire in this
wonderful.
They got to do this man got too much s*** to stick.
Grandkid, I'm tired of s***. Plus how
you do anything right? Just I need one
of us. You know, you guys want to detox for the high yarn, so.
your heart f******
in the hottest room I can
if you
work
You think I look forward again behind not work,
man?
son
all the way over right? Yeah you
See, it's probably over to the last
white column of correct. It's a recipient signatures.
Right? Excuse me recipient's signature.
Okay, that's it.
I'm in double path of I'm using and selling.
I don't even smack. Alright, but I
still move things all every day. I said everything
but
You gotta get started man. Here. You are like leaving everything
but I bet somebody don't want you to go because
you was out of their friend family or something like
that like use that hanging partner like a lot of people. Yeah, but
you like yo, I got through me.
haha
No, that's beautiful man food. Well, you
know you just pick me up at gmail.
Oh well.
Wow.
Wow. Oh you left the track man up. That's
dedication, buddy.
You know you for real I'm dead serious. Hey man
pound up on that world. That's hard to do. Leave a good thing. Let's
be honest. It's hard to leave a good thing.
I'll be playing with you man.
Your mom was the last time you used. Yeah, that's right.
No one hit me back. Did you do today? I
want a bag of fat. No.
You know, what if you would have done a bagger family would
be dead.
I just put it down and then obvious believe
it before back.
All right. Okay doesn't matter just have a seat fill that
out. Okay.
Maybe for more than that.
you
when did we ever hear the knit to say she's ready
to go?
When did we ever hear and say?
She was loved me after all.
Right. How are you? How you doing?
All right a little
some what yeah.
I was thinking more so
like do a detox and then maybe start like
an outpatient program.
Maybe like I just I just wanted to get off
the heroin like my main goal is to just get off
of the dope. I'm sick of being sick every six
hours every five hours like if something
and detox me up there when maybe like just
even be on a low dosage of methadone. Okay
stupid. Hi, Brenda.
Hey, why don't you come on down and come
talk to us?
But by all means come on down.
All right.
If I'm doing what I have to do for the baby while she's getting herself
treatment, it's much different than
her being in Camden on the streets hanging with a bunch of derelicts.
She needs some type of therapy on top of drug rehabilitation
to find herself to forgive herself
or let something go so that she can be normal.
I thought I'm a single dad and and I'm not so we
got to get rid of the Affliction so she can be a mom in a
wife what it's not up to me.
She has to do it.
I'm hopeful but
this is my history.
Yeah, I can't be excited about.
Oh God so
different. I can't stand it.
It doesn't hit me, right.
It's like a waste.
Love you.
so
I don't see that ship look at that s*** and that's
all from the fentanyl, you know.
When I come out I'm not touching that s*** ever again.
Just want to get back to normal, you know look like my
normal self.
No.
Oh.
Hey.
Oh God.
this tuna fish
doesn't give me
Stop it. Stop
it.
Good.
Hi, Brandon.
Hey, how are you baby? Hold
on to me. She's coming to her
appointment to do detox.
I said we have to get to why see
somebody tell you
how her dad died with me
on his arm and I was going to do something. That's a morbid thought.
Thanks, babe.
I want to keep it as simple as possible with announce overwhelming right you
just came back and you you want to get on track. You know what I
mean? What does that look like for you? And I
and so I just share with you personally that you know, when I imploded it
was a deep issue and
you know, I
You know married to my same husband for a whole lot of
years, but we went through a whole lot of stuff together. So I like to help you where you are.
You got it family. You've got so much
to offer. You still got your whole life in front of you. You know what I mean?
I was hurting here, right? So I will put that Band-Aid on
right I was abandoner. I would be that fake s*** smile,
right animal stick a Band-Aid on keep run.
I could be so much pain on the inside, right, but I
wouldn't let anybody know that right and you pick the scab and your bleeding
again, right? What's going to stop it? Right? Maybe I'll go over here and this will
stop it. Maybe I'll go over there and that'll stop it. And I don't know how I got stuck. But
once I was stuck all that's real often nothing matters to me so
I get the reality right but the bottom line was
I just wasn't ready, right?
I know this is hard. I know because we wanted so much
to help right? I'm framing it. Just looking at the people that I know
loved me when I was sitting right there and thinking exactly
feeling exactly like you feel right now.
So I'm just saying here's the thing. You got nothing. You got
nothing to lose and everything the game one day at a time, right? It's going to
be it's gonna be rough at some points. Right? But you know
and you don't got to you know, I mean listen if I
thought I could get you out of here and take you far away. I'm not
gonna lie. I would do that because I know that people places and
things sometimes or triggers being close
enough to to the turf is not helpful.
It was just
Everybody knows here.
You know, I graduated.
I'm going home. I'm gonna start a new regime like the Trap
is going to change.
Put it like this in three months. I can have
a quarter of a million dollars.
About to bring my boy back.
It's easy to say. Yeah, I did this and he didn't say yeah did that
hard part is changing because I
Actually, my mind is like in a different Zone like you know
what I'm saying? I caught a boy tonight and we out of
here. If we don't do this man, I've run I come
over here we might be running today. Well, what are hard?
Okay where you want to do it? I'm gonna call you
tonight.
Eight o'clock if you're going down.
I'm Gonna Keep On and this time I mean you don't f*** on
my way.
If I don't make it, I'm gonna die here.
90 days just getting
she's close to home. You have a beacon.
That's your home planet and you start coming alive.
Yeah.
The demons and we're came into the round.
So now she started transform.
And that right now baby. I'm in withdrome still at
night supposed to midnight.
We're gonna call Ghostbusters.
Huh?
Make it work.
Give me five more seconds dinner. Just
five more baby, please what?
You think what's up?
I mean go go outside and see if there are other houses are
really Transformer.
Well you go and look and see it and they go to the next door neighbor. You're
looking to see you ever having a power outage that happened.
Then son they don't they don't do nothing will know there
is a date on a thing so that they don't they don't come out and Sunday
Saturday afternoon and doing
anything like that.
All right. I told
her to get much it was gonna keep it from being sick. I say
get more what you need. So then you can ration yourself see because
they're next but she can do she can do.
I'm good, bro.
I'm good.
I'll need it.
As I need it.
You put everything everything secure, okay.
Holy s***.
The f****** town is black.
This is nuts.
How do
you think you know put a couple and I'm good?
here
I don't want to be on here on anymore like
I'm done.
Someone to detox and then get my mind, right?
And I'm Gonna Be Alive for that little boy, you know.
He needs me.
Just one
nine years ago.
7 o'clock and we are supposed to be
Heading up to Paramus.
To take Nani to detox, but
because Nani is not here Nani is
in streets of Camden. I had to make other arrangements for
the baby.
So everything will be playing and hope for she's
showing it. It's not her intentions whatsoever.
Now I have to turn over when you
leave.
I did get my hopes up. I should have
known better.
So that dream is over.
I just want to move on.
And I am I am moving.
We'll look
back one day and say this is what they had some video one.
Thousand feet currently in
Omaha. They have like ones on the East just a few
scattered.
People to me it was
survival. It was all or nothing.
Came to a realization. I can't change anybody else. I had to
want to do something different.
So I like left everything.
I decided that she wasn't ready.
To change and wasn't only
gave up her her addiction.
Myself sacrifice for somebody else only
tore me down. So no brother. I
will not miss that s*** at all.
I'm glad that part of my life is over.
He is you walking nice.
We got Daddy's Shoes everything I've
tried to do to find peace and
help did I work? I realize
that I was losing myself.
I hope that one day that she comes in realization
that her past is identity.
It is a happy ending not a storybook ending,
but the happy ending.
They didn't choose his mother.
I did.
I do believe that darnez
not seeing his mother has an effect on he
did Mom with her. That was something that I tried to accomplish
with the hope that he can touch her heart.
I'll explain to him that she had
a serious disease of addiction and a
consumed her.
You never had the love
of his mother.
How can he miss it?
Maybe one day you'll have
the dust off my face.
And see me again. Give me
the days look that I love and
make me the 18th.
Feeling between us such a
great place like mounting snow on a
mountain.
Knife to sing something louder than
I have before.
So I can't escape this
overwhelming thing and never
heard.
Seasons are changing and supposedly I
have to this world.
My heart is pacing.
So I can't escape this pain and
never heard.
I love ground now. I've been placed
back down.
Love as the power to make you fly
when you've been feeling so low.
Now I have to sing something loud.
So I can't escape this overwhelming pain
it never hurts.
are
you
Summer hard and let
no destroy the time.